Vaguism
by Philip James de Vries & Mathew Eapen
**Note: The following manifesto is a purely comedic and sarcastic work written for entertainment. While there may be some elements of truth found within these writings, this manifesto is in no way written logically or cohesively, hence why it is meant to be humourous.**
Art is being the vaguest.
Example 1-
I’m going one direction. You’ve gotta always be going in one direction. But, if I’m no going in any, where am I going? At least I’m going in some direction.
This sentence sounds sophisticated…
sophisticated (def) – soh-fist-ti-cayted – being a vague asshole.
The more sophisticated you sound, the less you are saying.
“Less is more.”
– this will get you an art exhibit at least.
– sell this art.
Continuing on…
Twenty-four, is a factor of three: that is, there are three main reasons why four is a factor of two. The first, being a factor of four is automatically a factor of twenty four – as you can see here:
example 1 -
24(5) – 2*2{(24a – xy)] = 4
The second example is a little simpler as we are left with the bumper of four that allows us to add twenty into the equation, which will give us the number 24.
example 2 – (live)
On the 23rd day of November, 1933, Robert Trevor went into town to get some milk. In 2003, ROBOT Trevor returned. He brought a two-four. This is, twenty-four beers. Two plus four beers. Six beers, you say that equals? Well, TIMES FOUR! and THAT equals twenty-four.
As you can see, the above sequence of thought makes absolutely no sense, but to someone not truly paying attention (i.e. most art exhibit attendees) it may seem like an appropriate way of proving that ‘art is vague.’ In other words, Vaguism can be represented by the formula below. Check out how concise it is:
a + b = c
“Pretty definite, I’d say.” – Phil
“Sometimes, too definite.” – Matt
Math is just as vague as art, then again math is art.
To summarize:
“Everything is vague. That’s a vague statement” – Phil
“If you add bullshit to bullshit it just makes super bullshit which is equivalent to oi oi oi’s” (see 90s punk rock) – Matt
